November 1-4, 2012: Hometown vacation

During a three-day vacation to a hometown I haven’t paid a visit for the last two years, I was driven to a feeling of mixed emotions seeing the place I grew up in and where I was also born.

The place hasn’t changed much except for the few infrastructure projects (some of them were still unfinished) somehow serving as a stark contrast to the rustic scenery a typical Philippine province usually portray. I felt like I was a kid again as I made the effort to try to tread on the grasses barefoot (the same thing I was doing when I was a kid), sensing that tingling feeling that usually made my soul becomes elated.

It was a reunion with my past that is always present and where my future will also be. I met my parents in the same old house where I was once staying and, together with my wife and two-month-old son I have brought home with me, relatives, friends, my brother, and my sister, we savor every moment to make some bonding as intact as ever.

I had this feeling of clinging to everything to make everything stay. But the grind must go on and time waits for nobody. But as the poet as I can be, I wish to capture every tick of a second with a poem I wrote that should best explain it all:

Late 80s

Time moves in one direction, memory in another.
--William Gibson

 Traversing the expanses that divide us
I have waited long enough on the length
Of what is to be seen across
Like it was wrong to avoid, and
Reason, and worry, grinned.
What lingers on and winds away I don’t care again
To bother with a knowing look:
Things will never change, changes,
Leaning into what keeps them
Completely lost to time
Forgetting what you can still remember
And remembering what you deeply forgot.
But rather than guessing, I’m begging you not to try
And it has just began, you can always stay
And wonder if you knew.


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